Halloween Costumes Part 2

I like to look back at my old halloween photos and play the game called "What the hell did my parents dress me up as?" In this photo, as you can tell, everyone has a clearly defined character. Ollie to my right, is dressed as a nerd, complete with nerd apparel, like glasses, suspenders, and gray pants. His brother Roger, and their cousin Ann, both decided to be Vampires, very original, I might add. My sister Nikki was Minnie Mouse wearing a blue winter jacket. Then there's me. I seem to be wearing a bandana, leather pants and jacket, with a big scraggly beard. I thought I was a pirate, but after asking my parents, it turns out I was dressed up as "Anything they could find in the closet out of a bag labeled 'clothes for Goodwill'."

Ultimate Fighter

When I was 12 I used to be a Mixed Martial artist. I won 145 bouts that year. My main strategy was to confuse my opponents senses by wearing a shirt made up of 8 different shirts, and while they wondered to themselves why I would ever buy and wear such a shirt, that's the exact moment I would slap on a choke hold until they passed out, oh and my other strategy was to only fight kids 7 and under.

Overeating

I always thought my parents fed me too much when I was a kid, and now I finally have proof. This was a typical meal for me. 18 apples, half a watermelon, noodles, a birthday cake, turkey, a ketchup bottle, corn, fish, 2 salads and several delicious sauces. If it wasn't for the horizontal stripes on my shirt, you would think to yourself, "Holy shit, this kid is grotesquely obese."