Twins

My parents enjoyed dressing my sister and I in matching outfits. I always questioned their reasoning behind it until my mom explained to me that we were, in fact, twins and I was born exactly 3 minutes and 1095 days after my sister.

Food and the Coolness Factor

This is conclusive evidence that no man can ever look cool eating ice cream. You can, however, look semi-decent eating a boiled peanut.

Picture Day!

Picture days at school are so much fun, except when your mom cuts your hair the day before and decides to give you a bowl-cut in the front and a mullet in the back. Combine that with a fake Lacoste sweater and a clip-on tie, and you've got a school picture day photo that can be ridiculed for the rest of your life.

Shirt-tie combo

This is my reaction after opening up a Christmas present I received from my Mom on Christmas day. As you can see she bought me one of those "Shirt-tie combos", you know, those no name cheap business shirts that come packaged with a bad tie, all for $9.99 kind of deals. What you can't see is what I'm thinking at this exact moment and that is, "I will never wear this shirt-tie combo."

Severe Hairloss

To combat male pattern baldness, my dad has resorted to trying on a toupee. After careful deliberation, and much prodding from me, he decided to undergo a procedure instead using his own real hair to cover up his bald spots. I think we can all agree that using his own back hair was the right choice.

Like sister, like mother

Some people think my sister and my mom look alike in this picture. After careful examination, I think it's because they're both wearing red shirts.

Karaoke is fun!

This is me again singing karaoke at the Bansil family Christmas extravaganza 86'. I'm amazed I could even breathe, I mean, with my pants being so tight and all. My cousin Chris is looking at me with this look of amazement on his face, like he's wondering to himself, "How the hell is he able to sing with his pants so tight?" DJ Climax behind me, on the one's and two's, is pretty amazed himself. Follow his gaze, I bet you he's looking at the gushing blood going through my white shirt because my tight pants are slicing through my back skin. My cousin Chris doesn't know whether to put the guitar down or call an ambulance, and all the while, I'm singing Corey Hart's classic, "I wear my sunglasses at night, so I can, so I can..."

So Sad

Have you ever seen a kid so sad? I remember this day like it was yesterday. I just lost my job, my wife left me, and to top it all off, my pants and shirt where too short for my legs and arms. Even the plant beside me looks sad. Actually the real reason I was so sad was because before taking this picture, my mom let me know that I was adopted. Then she said, "Say Cheese!"

Cowparents

My parents have a secret life. They like to act normal by day, but by night, as evidenced by this photo, they are, in fact, cowboys. Don't ever let anyone tell you that the movie "Brokeback Mountain" isn't a bad influence.

When I was thin

This is a picture of me when I used to be thin. I've really let myself go since. I think the ice cream cake I'm eating here is what started my downward spiral into obesity, I mean I'm well over 5 feet 10 now, and I weigh over 180 lbs...ridiculous!!! Anyways...Kids eat ice cream funny. If you look at any child eating ice cream, how come, they can never keep the ice cream off their face? And not only that, they never seem to wipe it off. They're content in having cold, sticky ice cream covering their little faces. Kids are stupid.

Tipsy again

It's been awhile since I last posted something. I apologize for that. I've been busy working on a show I created and am producing called "The Most RACES Show on Earth!" Check it out at www.themostracesshowonearth.com. Toronto's funniest, edgiest multicultural comedians will be performing for one night only! If you're in Toronto, you have to check it out!

Anyways. Here I am, drunk again. I think I had a little too much to drink, as you can see by the way I'm walking. I remember, I just had a Big Mac with fries and a small Johnnie Walker on the rocks. I was so drunk, I forgot how funny I looked in yellow short-shorts.

Halloween #2

This picture was taken on Halloween 85'. As you can see my sister went as Mother Theresa, and I was going as an overweight kid in a leisure suit. I could be wrong though, this could actually just be my sisters first communion. My mind is foggy.

Staring Contest

This picture was taken during the classic "staring contest" battle of 83'. It pitted my cousin Chris, the challenger, against me, the champion. I had won the previous two years, and Chris camed prepared to stare. It was a hard fought battle, as you can see by the expression on my cousin's face, but after I put on the Indian feathers, it was all over for him. After 8 tenuous hours, he finally cracked, then ran away crying in defeat. That day went down in Bansil history as the time "Dances with brown vest" beat "Crying Asian boy in Blue sweater".

Looking Sad

Look at the reflection of my head on the glass door, it's huge! Don't let the front of my head fool you, I've got a head the size of a mack truck. I look so sad. You would feel sad too if you just found out that your head was too big for your body. Just before the picture was taken my mom was like, "Smile! oh c'mon, your head isn't that big, and anyways, you'll grow into it." *Camera Flash.

Filipino Association Fun Run

This picture was taken at the annual picnic held in what looks to be Manila, but in fact is actually a park in Canada. I haven't seen so many Filipino people since there was a sale on rice. That's me in last place in the "carrying a stick while running" contest. Look how far back I am. That other kid is moving so fast he's blurred, look at me, I'm so in-focus. Look at the guy to my right. Could he be more of a geek? He's the kind of guy, who, when you just look at him, you just know he knows math.

Making a Move on Wilma

Look at me making a move on Wilma. I was so smooth. Me and that kid in the front had a bet as to who could touch Wilma's thigh first. Me and Wilma later dated for a few months, but I had to break up with her because she was married. Some guy named Fred.

Beavers

It's true. I was a "Beaver". You see that blue triangle on my pocket? In Beaver code, that signified that I killed somebody. It's like those tear tattoos you find on rappers. You see the boy at the end? He doesn't have a blue triangle, but he does have a finger in his nose. He claimed he was just scratching the rim of his nostril, but we all knew the truth. I'm so fat, my little beavers vest looks like a halter top.

Blowing out the Candles

This is an action shot of me blowing out the candles on my fourth birthday. I remember that day like it was yesterday. I was so proud of myself for being able to blow out all the candles by myself, that is, until I saw this picture. Turns out those bastard kids beside me helped me out. Don't try to deny it Christina Godbonton and Oliver Chandhok! The allure of blowing out another kids candles was just too irresitable for both of you. You should be ashamed of yourselves.

Singing in the Choir

Guess which one is me? It really isn't that hard. It's not like a "Where's Waldo?" book. Ray Charles could point me out, with what I'm wearing.

The teacher asked us all to wear something white for the big concert. I guess my mom took that to mean the total opposite, and to also "pop my collar". I can't help but think, "Couldn't I have done something? Why didn't I just look in the mirror before going out?" Even the one girl in the front noticed. She's turning to her friend and telling her, in the middle of the song no less, and I quote, "Neil's clothes are making me sing bad!"

T-Ball

This is my T-Ball photo taken just before I cut my mullet off. I swear, right after I took this picture I went to the barber. I was a pretty big t-baller so the coaches gave me the biggest shirt they had, which went quite well with the tightest pants I had. I don't look like a baseball player at all. I look more like a ninja in training. In fact, look what I did to the tree behind me, sliced the branch right off with my bat.

My Green Suit

This was my 13th birthday. I wore a green suit. Man, I loved that green suit. I remember the only reason I wore it was so I could impress my first crush, Michelle Weeks. There she is in the pink looking right at me. I really thought it would work, but little did I know that she didn't like the colour green, or Filipino's.

My Sister Nikki

Before I begin, I just want to give a shout out to Rob & Linda for their kind words...I'll be performing in the states very soon. I also want to say what's up, to jhaneinsane and Woo, if you have the chance check out this guys website, www.wootoons.com, it's great, it's almost as good as my own, www.neilbansil.com.

Almost.

Anyways, this is a picture of my sister Nikki. If you notice, she's wearing the exact same outfit that she wore six pictures down (scroll down). In fact, she never really changed. She wore that outfit 17 days in a row. A Bansil family record. Look how skinny she is. We showed this picture to other family members, they sent us money to sponsor her.

Break Dancing Competition

There's nothing like an impromptu break dancing competition to liven up a party. This picture shows me in mid-robot, just before I did my signature "spin on my head" move. Look at my Uncle Mike behind me. You just know he's thinking to himself, "Man, Neil's frickin' good, and he's way better than my daughter standing there on the right with the pink dress..."

Drinking by age 6

This photo brings back memories. I can actually remember thinking to myself, "Oh my God, I'm so hammered." that and, "Why is my dad serving me alcohol?" My last thought was, one more drink and maybe, just maybe, it would make my aunt's dress look good. (Sorry Auntie Sonia, I didn't mean that)...(Yes I did).

Playing with Fire

What's wrong with this picture? I agree, that kids "Tennis shirt" sucks.

Most parents would scold kids for playing with fire, mine took a picture. Does anyone else see the potential danger in allowing a 2 year old child to play with a burning candle? I could have lit that kids "Tennis shirt" on fire if I wanted. Thank God I didn't and instead just dropped it on myself and got 3rd degree burns over 90% of my body.

The Annual Bansil Family Meat Eating Contest

Eating meat is good...eating meat on a stick...even better! As you can see here, my cousins and I, were having a friendly competition to see who could eat the most meat, and in so doing, make the meat grease transfer onto our faces. Judging by my face, I am clearly in the lead. Sadly, the cousin on the right does not have any meat in her hands, but seems content in watching me eat my meat without the aid of my hands. Unfortunately, in an attempt to copy my meat eating prowess, the cousin on my left broke his neck. He never ate meat again.

I'm going to sue my parents...

This was my best friend in elementary school. His name was Michael. He was a cool guy, until I found out he was a nazi. Don't let the smile fool you, deep down inside he wants to burn the books behind him. Ok, I lied. Michael wasn't a nazi.

I would now like to take this opportunity to point out that I am wearing a plaid shirt with a bowtie. Does anyone else find that alarming? Or maybe you were more drawn to the fact that I am also wearing leather pants. Leather pants, a plaid shirt and a bowtie. I ask you, is this not child abuse? Can I sue my parents for making me look like this? One thing that I found unnerving was that big bulge in my pants. It's so big that light is reflecting off it. Michael was jealous.

The San Antonio Barrio Fiesta

The San Antonio Barrio Fiesta...I remember it well. It was hot, it was sunny, and it was a time to pose. My sister and I had a "pose off", as you can see, I was doing the standard hands on the hip pose; one leg slightly ahead of the other, gut at full extension, with a smile trained at the camera. My sister choose to do the displaced hip pose. You know what's amazing to me? The fact that my sisters shorts are actually longer than mine. My shorts were so short, if I turned around you could actually see the bottom of my butt cheeks. Everytime I look back at this photo I think to myself, this might be borderline child porn.