Christmas 1985

Christmas is a time for giving, sharing, and wearing moon boots in a rattan chair. I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that by age seven, I already had a double chin, or could it be that our carpet is made out of astroturf? I have to admit though, I never cease to amaze myself with my endless array of poses. This one was obviously done in an effort to show off my "bling", and when I say bling, I mean "blue pants".

Arm Wrestling

This is a picture of me (in the red) and my arch-rival Jason, arm-wrestling at a family picnic. Our family took arm-wrestling very serious, and I don't doubt that a few dollars were on the line as me and Jason battled it out. It was so serious that the loser would be beaten with a red bat after each match, or forced to look at the woman on the right for an extended period of time.

Family trip to Fantasy Island

When I was a kid, every year my parents would take me to Fantasy Island in Buffalo, NY. I think it was called Fantasy Island because we had to fantasize that the rides were good. That's me holding the gun towards the person in front of me. Look at my cousin Chris' pained face. He can't take it anymore. In fact, at this very moment he was looking back at me and saying, "Neil, please! If we spin around one more time and I have to see those two women in the pink again, I think I'm going to die!"

The Smurfs

I used to love the smurfs...until Jokey smurf fondled my breast. Just look at his eyes, they're so full of lust, it's like he's trying to say, "Yeah, I'm touching him, and it feels good."

Forced to play the piano at 3

Would you believe it if I told you that I really have no idea how to play the piano in this picture? Well, it's true. I mean, you'd think that with the music book open, and my little arms in the standard piano playing position, that I must have had at least 2 or 3 years of classical piano training, but no, I'm sad to say, this picture is staged. In fact, and I'm almost ashamed to say it, I still do not know how to play the piano.

Bansil Family Talent Show Extravaganza!

Christmas at the Bansil residence was never truly complete until we had the annual "Bansil Family Talent Show Extravaganza!" It was a cavalcade of act after sad act of barely talented kids doing whatever they could to entertain adults. This is a picture of me singing "I want your sex" by George Michael. I should have sang "I want a new shirt and pants".

Which one is me?

Don't you love it when your parents used to dress you the same as your sibling, despite the fact that you weren't even twins, or in my case, a girl? If I had the chance to go back in time, I think I would ask my parents to buy clothes that fit better. Like maybe a large, or a medium, instead of the size you see here, which was "skin tight". There must have been a sale on skin tight clothing that week. My clothes were so tight, I remember losing all feeling in my legs. Maybe it was the girls sandals I was wearing.

My Grandmother

When I was growing up my grandmother was the one who watched over me and my sister when my parents were working. That was a tough job, and we made sure to reward her as much as we could when her birthday came around. Unfortunately, during those days we didn't have much money so we had to make do with whatever we could get our hands on. As you can see, my grandmother put on a brave face after being surprised with a gift of pink insulation in the first photo. My sister and I managed to get her a scarf, in the second picture, and in the third picture someone bought her a baby. I think she returned that one.

Pear Eating Contest

Oh, the good ol' pear eating contest. Who doesn't like a good pear eating contest every once and awhile? I know I do. If you couldn't tell, that's me in the centre with the blue daisy dukes. Could my shorts get any higher? If it could they would be a shirt. You know, I laugh everytime I look at this picture, but I laugh even more when I wonder to myself why is that guy on the left not wearing a shirt? I mean, everyone else is clothed. I think it had something to do with his hair providing him with all the warmth he needs.

McDonald's Basement

There's nothing like a McDonald's basement photo to bring back memories. The thing I remember the most about this time in my life was that my hair was threatening to grow completely around my head like a helmet. Ronald McDonald was even using my hair as support in the background.

Things I do in the shower...

I took a shower today and washed my face and I noticed this picture on the bottle of my facewash. Look how happy this guy is to be washing his face? Like, how dirty was his face that simply washing it illicited that kind of response? I have never been that happy washing my face, the most I've felt is maybe some tingling or my skin drying. The only time I'd react like that while washing my face is if they secretly switched my water with acid.

Ricky Martineil

All I can say is...What was I thinking? I call this one, Ricky Martineil. With hair like this I might as well start a all-puerto-rican band called Menudo.